Today marks my last day of tests, quizzes and papers…….For this quarter. My school does major sections of our year by “quarters”, cutting our year into 4 main parts. Junior year is now 1/4 over. And while that doesn’t seem too important to some, it is SO exciting. Trust me, I’m not trying to rush high school but knowing I have 7 quarters or 3 & 1/2 semesters or 63 weeks left of high school brings complete satisfaction (and some fright but trying to think positively).
Junior year has been by far the hardest year of high school yet and somehow I’m earning the best grades I’ve ever gotten. I told myself going into it, I wasn’t going to let myself hate this year. When most people ask about junior year, the typical response is a huge complaint about the “pain” and “utter agony”. While I won’t deny, it’s hard, I study for at least 2, maybe 3-4 hours a day it’s a balancing act that I actually somewhat enjoy. I’m such a driven person that I’m passionate about working hard and have a love for learning.
But something I’m so in love with is the fact that it’s an advancement into this crazy thing called “life”. I’m taking challenging classes that align with my interests. My schedule is packed, yet filled with things I actually want to learn taught by teachers who are passionate about their subjects. AP U.S. History fills my super history nerd and I find the themes so interesting. AP Language (commonly called APEnglish) makes me think in a way I’ve never had to and I’m definitely growing as a writer. My first period theology class starts my day focused on the world (and people) around me & not myself. Spanish has challenged me in my confidence to just try and say an answer in class, despite how stupid I may sound. I’m taking a sculpture class twice a week, my first time in a high school art and it is a huge stress reliever. Mentorship, a forever love of mine pushes me to love others around me.
And then we have Pre-Calculus. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN
I originally wasn’t planning to take Pre-Calculus as math has always been the hardest subject for me. But me, being stubborn and wanting to push myself decided to try it out. Pre-Cal has been the hardest class by far I’ve ever taken and I don’t enjoy it to say the least, unlike the other interesting classes in my schedule. It’s brought tears and despite spending an hour consistently every single night and with a tutor twice a week, I managed to get an F, not just once but multiple times. If you know me, you’ll know I have never gotten an “F” and am a total perfectionist. I’m working hard, it’s just not right for me. Luckily the administration at my school noticed my all A’s and one very low grade, seeing that it isn’t right and I’m allowed to drop down a class to a “lower” math. And get this, with all of my hard work I’ve been able to bring my grade up to a B, making honor roll, a huge accomplishment due the nightmare of this class.
High school is fueled by competition. Whether that’s Friday Night Lights at the football field, teenage girls competing for some “prize” unbeknownst to me, or working to get into college. Sure, I’m not taking pre-calculus, a more advanced, “better” class (in terms of teenage judgmental minds). It’s so easy to play the comparison game and compare that girl next to you who is taking 3 AP courses compared to your 2. It’s easy to feel down on yourself because I didn’t make my goal of A honor roll, but instead have 1 B. That’s easy.
But if there is one thing I’ve learned in these past 9 weeks of Junior year: it’s all going to end up how it’s meant to be. I’ll get into a college where I’ll do best and not spend my high school days buried under thousands of piles of homework. Not saying that classes don’t matter, but that I’d rather take classes that are best for me and interesting than spend every second of my time absolutely stressed 24/7 about schoolwork. Taking more AP classes doesn’t make you a better person just like having to take basic level classes doesn’t make you dumb. I’ve watched friends have daily breakdowns over schoolwork, hating every second of Junior year and that’s just so sad to see. (Not going to deny it though, I’ve cried, only twice.)
On top of this all I was in charge of my school’s homecoming and have managed to keep up this part of the internet posting at least once a week. Things I am passionate about and enjoy doing. Thank God for my brightly colored agenda.
“I hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection”