Almost a year ago I wrote a post outlining the lifechanging diagnosis that changed the way I looked at the world. My PCOS diagnosis was freeing. I had a final solution to a plaguing issue, I was free. It was a quick fix: Go on a low carb diet. Exercise. Lose the weight.
I didn’t want to write this post. In fact I’ve been putting this post off for so long that it makes my stomach hurt. I’ve avoided writing this because it’s embarassing but I’m at a place where I feel comfortable again. Fair enough. Being healthy works, when you stick with it. But living your life cheerio, cupcake, waffle, cookie, sugar, dairy, carb free is hard. Exercising almost every day becomes a challenge.
This summer I had the lifechanging opportunity to travel to my now favorite ever place, London England. A magical land full of beautiful museums, culture and wait for it: food. Before traveling I told myself I would be close to my goal and I achieved it, my lowest weight post-PCOS diagnosis. And I felt the most beautiful, confident, happy, I may have ever felt. I remember snapchatting my best friends, telling them there was something magical about being healthy and loving yourself. But one bite of sugar, of which I don’t regret, lead to my full blown addiction returning. The monster that once had overtaken me had returned. It lead another bite and I ended up gaining not just one pound, not two, not five, but all of it. And more.
My cravings were unexplainable and my mood, even worse. I am so thankful for the people in my life who love me even when I’m crying and a very PCOS filled monster of a mess, essentially July through August. It was frustrating, all of my progress that I had worked so hard for was gone and I felt out of control, yet again.
Today I write this with a lower weight, not a perfect one but one that is improving. I can tell you my eating is back. I’ve managed to slowly, oh so slowly get back into my strict habits and find my groove again. Homecoming, was the first time I felt truly confident again since London, not my tippy top best self, but I felt myself. I’m not fully back where I was weight wise back in May but my body, mind and heart feel good. I’ve gone to the gym every day this week (skipping today because taking the SAT was enough of a workout). I’ve fell back in love with fighting for myself.
It was easy to write “My health is a key priority. Not my weight, but my health.” last December when I was loosing weight easily after my diagnosis. But the struggle of trying to get Maggie back, again, was a painful one. Because I knew what it was like to have that positive mindset, to be inviting people into your life instead of pushing them away, but I felt trapped. Again. Just because you are diagnosed doesn’t make PCOS go away.It doesn’t mean the world will be sunshine and rainbows. But it will give you a reason to fight for the girl you know is somewhere in you. Fighting for yourself is acknowledging that in June, I was the lowest weight on the scale.Fighting for yourself is admitting that you gained weight back. Fighting for yourself is knowing that this is your life, it may hurt and be hard and I’m going to have to fight every single day of my life. Fighting for yourself is knowing that some days I don’t love myself, I won’t always, but I can try. Fighting for yourself is knowing progress over perfection.
Every day is a learning opportunity: learning Grace over perfection. Learning that my goals are a step by step process. Learning that progress and loving myself are so much more important than being perfect.
I have excuses why I didn’t want to publish this, it’s embarassing, I don’t want to be vain, I don’t want people to know that I “fail”. But life is like a cha cha, two steps forward, one step back, two steps forward again. I post this content for other women who fight PCOS, any girl crying while bingeating ice cream out of the carton, for anyone to know, they are not alone in whatever is there pan of brownies.
“Give me your heart, give me your song. Sing it with all your might. Come to the fountain, you can be satisfied. There is a peace there is a love.” – Need To Breathe
Sometimes the things you really don’t want to say are the things that are needed to be said the most.
I’ve been super strict with my eating lately but that means finding things to eat is super tricky. Also I really want donuts, cupcakes, really any sweet treat that comes with fall/holidays. We know the drill around here, Maggie once loved something in her past carb eating sugar filled life. So she makes a new version of it. I found this recipe online and added some modifications to make it even better. I’ve grown into a terrible habit of not eating breakfast (and sometimes forgetting lunch) and having one of these in the morning does the trick! Also for a sneeky treat adding whip cream is pretty much what heaven should taste like.
Cinnamon and Pumpkin Spice – add a few dashes of each as much as you want (recipe originally calls for a tablespoon of pumpkin spice but I found that to be too much)
2/3 cup of ethrynol or your preferred sweetener
Vanilla – I add at least 1/2 tbsp – all about preference
2/3 cup of pumpkin
Combine almond flour, spices and sweetner in a large bowl ensuring there are no lumps. Add to dry mixture in vanilla, then pumpkin and eggs with electric beater.
Cook Time: Depends on the size of your muffins. Reccomended recipe time: 30-40 minutes. Something to be super aware of is that undercooked is worse than overcooked. I don’t mind having them be more firm opposed to the alternative of a more soft eggy muffiny texture.
Although I’m not pulling out my flannels and boots quite yet, I was still really excited when Starbuck’s announced their #PSL – Pumpkin Spice Latte…. Except, a small size has 420 calories, 50 grams of sugar and 52 carbs (that’s 3 days worth of my daily carb intake!). So, in honor of this amazing drink, I’ve decided to make my own dairy free, sugar free, low carb version!
Summer may be over for me (boo) but the North Carolina heat is definitely still going strong (double boo). Y’all loved the Low Carb Mocha pops I shared at the beginning of the summer so why not end it with another treat. This one is just as easy and is super refreshing.
Low Carb, Sugar Free, Protein Lemon Berry Slushie
What you need:
Atkins Lift protien drink
Blender (see I told you it was easy)
Put the ice and drink in a blender & enjoy!
Seriously so easy. I added some squeezed lemon before blending to help make it a bit more tart & flavorful. The best part about this recipe is if you are not a low carb/low sugar eater, it also works with Gatorade or lemonade! If you do test this recipe, tag me on Instagram or Twitter!
7 years ago today I published my very first blog post here on MaggieRoyce.com. Actually really surreal as it seems like just yesterday I was rambling about my dislike of Lady GaGa (whoops!). Technically I’ve owned MaggieRoyce.com since 2008 and began blogging that same year but I actually used another blog for a little bit, so to keep it easy lets just say it’s 7 years.
Super cheesy, but I really don’t know where I would be without this crazy internet space. It’s by far one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I’m truly in awe at how much support I have. I get to say I’ve been blogging for almost half of my entire lifetime and readers make it all worthwhile. Thank you all for reading and following along on this journey called my life. I wish I could hug every single one of you who’ve clicked, commented or responded to a blog post, tweet or Instagram. Thank you so much.
To thank you I have a super cool sort of DIY. As a low carb foodie, I love making and eating different things and experimenting with unique recipes. But, with busy schedules (looking @ you Junior year) that’s difficult to have treats on hand. My mom found Simple Mills and they are UNB
ELIEVABLE. It’s just like a regular box mix except with all natural low carb, low sugar, dairy free ingredients. My brother, who isn’t low carb, low sugar or dairy free tried one and loved it, really passes the test. I have made the chocolate ones and really recommend but can’t wait to try others. (Not sponsored, just really love them).
Thank you, thank you, thank you for helping make the past 7 years possible.
Seriously so excited to share this DIY with y’all. It is by far the easiest recipe I’ve shared and is incredibly accessible. I made these low carb, low sugar chocolate mocha latte pops for the 4th. Trust me y’all, you can’t mess these up. Something I’ve ran into while eating low carb low sugar is finding tasty treats that aren’t addictive and I eat them all. With these, one of them fills me up and I don’t want to eat any more, at all.
Last year I did this recipe that isn’t low carb and so this year I decided to put a spin on it!